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Perceived Incompatible Goals What do people fight about? (We use the word fight to mean verbal conflict, not physical violence.) People usually engage in conflict over goals they deny are important to them. One company had an extreme morale problem. The head cashier said, "All our problems would be solved if we could just get some carpet, since everyone's feet get tired; but management won't spend a penny for us." Her statement of incompatible goals was clear – carpet versus no carpet. But as the interviews progressed, another need emerged. She began to talk about how no one noticed when her staff had done good work and how the "higher-ups" only noticed when lines were long and mistakes were made. Her stated needs then changed to include not only carpet, but self-esteem and increased attention from management. The needs for carpets and self-esteem were both real, but the first may have been incompatible with management's desires, whereas the second might not; the need for recognition may have been important to both the cashiers and management. Forms of
incompatibility. Perceived goal
incompatibility appears in a couple of forms. First, the conflict
parties may want the same thing – for example, the promotion in
the company, the only A in the class, or the attention of the parents.
They struggle and jockey for position in order to attain the desired
goal. They perceive the situation as one in which there "isn't
enough to go around." Thus, they see their goal as
"incompatible" with the other person's because they
both want the same thing. Second, sometimes the goals are different.
Mark and Tom, for example, decide to eat out. Mark wants to go to
Bananas and Tom wants to go to Pearl's. They struggle over the
incompatible choices. Similarly, in an organization, one person may want
to see seniority rewarded, whereas another may want to see work
production rewarded. They struggle over which goal should be rewarded.
Of course, many times the content goals seem to be different (like which
restaurant to go to); but beneath them is a relational struggle over who
gets to decide. Regardless of whether the participants see the goals as
similar or different, perceived incompatible goals are central to all
conflict struggles.
Reframing goals to resolve incompatibility. We do not support the overly simple notion that if people just worked together, they would see that their goals are the same. Opposing goals are a fact of life. Many times, however, people are absolutely convinced they have opposing goals and cannot agree on anything to pursue together. However, if goals are reframed or put in a different context, the parties can agree. Recently, a student teacher's supervisor outlined her goals for the student. Included in the list was the demand that the student turn in a list of the three most and least positive experiences in the classroom each week. The student asked to be transferred to another supervisor, saying, "I can't be open about my failures with someone who's going to give me my ending evaluation, which will go in my permanent files." In a joint discussion with the teacher and the student, the dean found that both were able to affirm that they valued feedback about positive and negative experiences. Their goals were more similar than they thought; the means for achieving them were different. The teacher agreed to use the list as a starting point for discussion but not to keep copies; the student agreed to list experiences so the teacher would not feel that the student was hiding her negative experiences. Trust was built through a discussion of goals. Perceptions of the incompatibility of the goals changed through clear communication. Reprinted
with permission of the publisher. |
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